Dear friends and members of the community,
The Three Weeks that are now upon us, beginning on the night of Shiva Asar B’Tammuz and continuing through Tisha B’Av, are days of pain and reflection for the Jewish people. This period is known as Bein HaMetzarim – between the straits – based on the verse: “All her pursuers overtook her in the narrow places” (Eikha 1:3).
Though the Sages did not enact formal mourning practices for the Three Weeks themselves, the Jewish people accepted customs of restraint. Let us now learn the halachot and customs of these days, so we may direct our hearts properly.
Shehecheyanu Blessing
- New fruit and new clothing: The custom is not to recite Shehecheyanu on a new fruit or garment during the Three Weeks (Sefer Chasidim).
- On Shabbat: It is permitted to recite Shehecheyanu on Shabbat, but it is preferable to be strict and not recite it (Chazon Ovadia p. 134).
- Fruit that will spoil: If you worry the fruit won’t be available after Tisha B’Av, you may recite Shehecheyanu. Ideally, save it for Shabbat and recite it then.
- Mitzvah opportunity: We do recite Shehecheyanu for an incidental mitzvah like a Brit Milah or Pidyon HaBen, because the timing was set by Heaven (SA 551**:17).
- Seeing a friend or birth of a daughter: One who sees a dear friend after thirty days recites Shehecheyanu. Parents seeing their newborn daughter for the first time also recite it. If they don’t recite it now, they lose the blessing (SA 225**:1). Sefardim generally do not recite Shehecheyanu on the birth of a daughter.
- HaTov VeHaMetiv and HaGomel: You may recite HaTov VeHaMetiv even on Tisha B’Av, for example on the birth of a son. HaGomel may be recited during the Three Weeks, but not on Tisha B’Av itself. Wait until after the fast.
Weddings, Engagements, and Dancing
- Weddings:
- Ashkenazim: Custom is not to hold weddings at all from 17 Tammuz until Tisha B’Av.
- Sefardim: In Jerusalem the custom is to permit weddings until Rosh Chodesh Av. From Rosh Chodesh Av until Tisha B’Av it is forbidden, and Rosh Chodesh itself is included in the prohibition.
- One who hasn’t fulfilled Peru U’Revu: Technically permitted to marry, but the custom is to refrain because “it is not a good omen” to marry during days of national mourning.
- Engagements: Permitted even after Rosh Chodesh Av, and even on Tisha B’Av itself, day or night, lest someone else propose first (Rambam, Chazon Ovadia p. 140).
- Dancing: Dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks, even without music (Chazon Ovadia p. 149).
Listening to Music
- Recorded music: Though permitted the rest of the year to listen to holy songs with instruments, during the Three Weeks one should avoid it.
- Seudat Mitzvah: At a wedding, Brit Milah, Pidyon HaBen, Bar Mitzvah, or Siyum Masechet, it is permitted to listen to holy songs with instruments.
- Vocal singing: Singing with the mouth as praise to Hashem, without instruments, is permitted. This certainly includes tunes during prayer or learning, and on Shabbatot during the Three Weeks. There is no need to be strict about this, even on Shabbat Chazon (Chazon Ovadia p. 154).
- Professional musician: A Jew who earns a living by playing music may play at non-Jewish events until the end of Tammuz. From Rosh Chodesh Av onward he should not play (Biur Halacha 551**:2).
Haircuts and Swimming
- Ashkenazim: Custom is to be strict and not take haircuts from 17 Tammuz until after Tisha B’Av (Rema 551**:4).
- Sefardim: Follow Maran and only refrain from haircuts in the week that Tisha B’Av falls.
- Some are lenient regarding trimming a beard until Rosh Chodesh Av, and when there is a need, one has basis to rely on this.
- Sefardi in Ashkenazi community: A Sefardi learning with Ashkenazim or in an Ashkenazi community should be strict like them and not cut hair from 17 Tammuz.
- Sea and pool: It is permitted to go to the sea or pool during the Three Weeks, even if you haven’t gone yet before the Three Weeks.
Laws Beginning from Rosh Chodesh Av
The Mishnah teaches: “When Av enters, we reduce our joy” (Taanit 26b). Therefore we don’t hold joyous events like trips, hotel vacations, or parties with friends. Events that are primarily educational or communal are permitted. One who needs rest for health reasons may go on vacation.
Since these are days of misfortune, the Sages advised that one who has a court case with a non-Jew should postpone it during Av, because Jewish mazal is weak then (SA 551:1).
Meat and Wine – From Rosh Chodesh Av
- Ashkenazim: Do not eat meat or drink wine for all Nine Days, including Rosh Chodesh Av. This was also the custom of the Arizal.
- Sefardim: Permitted to eat meat and drink wine on Rosh Chodesh. The prohibition begins the night of the 2nd of Av (MB 551:58).
- Yemenites: Do not follow this stringency at all, and only refrain from meat and wine at the seudah mafseket before the fast.
- The prohibition includes all meat - beef and chicken, fresh or frozen. Fish is permitted.
- Food cooked with meat is also forbidden, because the taste of meat is present (MB 551:63).
- The wine prohibition includes grape juice. Hard liquor like whiskey or beer is permitted.
- You may season food with wine vinegar. Baked goods that already contain wine may be eaten, but lechatchila one should not add wine to dough during the Nine Days.
- Illness: Someone who is sick, even slightly, and meat or wine helps him, may eat them (MB 551:61). Same for a woman within 30 days of birth, or a nursing mother who needs it for milk production.
- Children: It is permitted to give meat to small children, even if they have reached the age of chinuch. Only when a child reaches 12 years and one day should one be strict not to feed him meat (Chazon Ovadia p. 190).
- Seudat Mitzvah after Rosh Chodesh: At a seudat mitzvah like a Brit Milah after Rosh Chodesh Av, the relatives of the host may eat meat. However, people who come just to eat meat may not.
- It is permitted to eat meat at a Siyum Masechet because it is a seudat mitzvah. Even one who did not learn with them may join the mesaymim. But one should not make a siyum just to eat meat.
- Motza’ei Shabbat Chazon: The one making Havdalah may drink the wine, and may drink the whole cup. Preferable to use grape juice which is less joyous.
- Cooking and tasting for Shabbat: It is permitted to taste Shabbat foods while cooking on Erev Shabbat (Chazon Ovadia p. 178).
One who eats leftover meat from Shabbat after Shabbat has basis to rely on, especially at Seudah Revi’it if he usually eats meat then.
Sewing, Buying, and Business
Sewing new clothes: It is forbidden to sew new clothes during these days, as well as to make new shoes. A tailor who earns his living from this may be permitted until the week of Tisha B’Av. Women may not do embroidery (Kaf HaChaim 116) or knitting. Patching a torn old garment is permitted, as is sewing on buttons that fell off (ibid. 207).
Buying a home and furniture: It is permitted to buy a home and sign a contract during these days, even on Tisha B’Av itself. It is also permitted to move homes during these days.
One should not paint his home with decorative designs from Rosh Chodesh Av. However, it is permitted to paint a synagogue, Talmud Torah, etc.
One should avoid buying furniture from Rosh Chodesh Av, and even ordering furniture that will arrive after Tisha B’Av, unless prices will rise and cause a loss.
Books and business dealings: One should avoid buying sefarim unless needed now, or if he fears they won’t be available later or will become more expensive.
It is also proper, if possible, to reduce business dealings and financial transactions from Rosh Chodesh Av.Buying clothes and shoes: One should not buy clothes or shoes from Rosh Chodesh Av, even if he doesn’t intend to wear them until after Tisha B’Av, and even if he intends to give them as a gift. Similarly, one should not give clothing as a gift these days.
One should not sew a new garment or shoe. If the tailor began before Rosh Chodesh, he may continue after Rosh Chodesh.
Embroidery and knitting of clothes or tablecloths is likewise forbidden. Teaching sewing is permitted if it does not produce a new garment.
Repairing torn clothes or shoes is permitted. If they will become more expensive, one may buy them. If his shoes tore and he has no other pair, he may buy new ones.
Minor clothing like women’s stockings may be purchased during these days.
The Week of Tisha B’Av
Combing hair: It is permitted to comb the hair of one’s head and beard with a comb during the week of Tisha B’Av, for both men and women (Yechave Daat 4:35).
Cutting nails: Some forbid cutting nails during the week of Tisha B’Av. Others permit, and this is the main halacha. Even one who is strict, if his nails are overgrown past the flesh, may cut them.
Laundry: It is rabbinically forbidden to do laundry during the week of Tisha B’Av, even if you don’t plan to wear the garment until after Tisha B’Av. This applies even if you only have one shirt, and even if using a washing machine.
It is also forbidden to wear freshly laundered clothes during this week. This includes undershirts – one may not change into a laundered undershirt. In places with hot weather where changing shirts and socks is necessary due to sweat, one should prepare in advance: Before the week of Tisha B’Av, wear each laundered garment for about an hour, then remove it and wear another for an hour, so you have several shirts or socks that are no longer considered freshly laundered and may be used during the week of Tisha B’Av.
You may do this on Shabbat as well – wear laundered clothes Friday night for Shabbat, then change into other laundered and pressed clothes Shabbat morning, and save the Friday night clothes for the weekdays. The same applies to underwear and socks. If needed, one may change after waking from an afternoon nap and wear different clothes. This is not considered preparing from Shabbat to weekday, since he benefits from the clothes on Shabbat itself (Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Yechave Daat 1:39). However, if one did not prepare and it would be a matter of kavod habriyot, he may wear laundered clothes (Yabia Omer 10 p. 184).
Bed linens: It is forbidden to lay freshly laundered sheets on the bed during the week of Tisha B’Av. This includes hand towels, tissues, and tablecloths – they may not be laundered (Yalkut Yosef p. 664).
Polishing shoes: It is permitted to polish shoes during the week of Tisha B’Av, and it is not comparable to laundry which is forbidden. The same applies during mourning for rubber shoes which are permitted to a mourner. Even those who are strict, may be lenient within the thirty days of mourning, and certainly on Erev Shabbat Chazon (Yabia Omer 3:31).
Bathing: Some have the custom not to bathe in hot water from Rosh Chodesh Av. Others do not refrain until the week of Tisha B’Av. The great Sefardic authorities followed the second opinion. Therefore, Sefardim may wash their entire body with hot water from Rosh Chodesh until the week of Tisha B’Av. Certainly they may wash their entire body and shampoo their hair without restriction on Erev Shabbat Chazon. And certainly one may immerse in hot water for Shabbat. During the week of Tisha B’Av, the custom is to refrain from hot water, but cold water is permitted even during the week of Tisha B’Av.
Ashkenazim follow the Rema and are strict not to bathe in hot water from Rosh Chodesh Av until after the fast. In cases of need, they may shower in cold water. But they may not instruct those who follow Maran to be strict (Yabia Omer 5:41; Yechave Daat 1:38).
Swimming: The basic halacha permits swimming in the sea during the week of Tisha B’Av, and this is the Sefardic custom, as they only forbade bathing in hot water. Nevertheless, because of danger, it is proper to avoid it during these days.
Bathing for medical need: It is permitted to bathe in hot water during the week of Tisha B’Av for medical reasons, such as a pregnant woman in her month, etc. (Yalkut Yosef p. 666).
Washing floors: Some places have a custom not to wash or mop the floors of the house from Rosh Chodesh Av onward, and only permit it on Erev Shabbat Chazon for Shabbat. Our custom is to be lenient even during the weekday of the week of Tisha B’Av, and this applies to all rooms of the house (Yabia Omer 3:31:4).
Ironing: It is permitted to iron clothes with a hot iron even during the week of Tisha B’Av (Chazon Ovadia p. 238, though Ohr LeTzion is strict).
| Topic | Time period | Ashkenazim | Sefardim / Other customs (as given) | Notes / Limits |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Shehecheyanu (new fruit & clothing) | Three Weeks | Not recite | — | Custom per Sefer Chasidim. |
| Shehecheyanu on Shabbat | Three Weeks | Permitted, but prefer not | Prefer strict not to recite | Chazon Ovadia p. 134. |
| Shehecheyanu on fruit that will spoil | Three Weeks | May recite | May recite | Ideally save for Shabbat and recite it then. |
| Shehecheyanu for mitzvah with set timing | Three Weeks | Recite | Recite | Brit Milah / Pidyon HaBen (timing “set by Heaven”): SA 551:17. |
| Shehecheyanu: seeing a dear friend after 30 days | Three Weeks | Recite | Recite | If not recited now, “they lose the blessing.” |
| Shehecheyanu: first time seeing a newborn daughter | Three Weeks | Recite | Sefardim do not recite | SA 225:1. |
| HaTov VeHaMetiv | Three Weeks / even Tisha B’Av | Recite | Recite | Example given: birth of a son. |
| HaGomel | Three Weeks | Recite during Three Weeks | Recite during Three Weeks | Not on Tisha B’Av; wait until after the fast. |
| Weddings | 17 Tammuz → Tisha B’Av | No weddings at all | Jerusalem: allow until Rosh Chodesh Av; then forbidden from Rosh Chodesh Av through Tisha B’Av | Rosh Chodesh included in prohibition (per text). |
| Marriage when Peri U’Revu not fulfilled | Three Weeks | Technically permitted; custom to refrain | Custom to refrain | “Not a good omen” during national mourning (per text). |
| Engagements | From Rosh Chodesh Av (and even Tisha B’Av) | Permitted | Permitted | Even on Tisha B’Av (lest someone else propose first): Rambam, Chazon Ovadia p. 140. |
| Dancing | Three Weeks | Forbidden | Forbidden | Even without music. |
| Recorded music | Three Weeks | Avoid | Avoid | Permitted otherwise; should be avoided during Three Weeks. |
| Music at a seudat mitzvah (with instruments) | Three Weeks | Permitted | Permitted | Wedding, Brit Milah, Pidyon HaBen, Bar Mitzvah, Siyum Masechet. |
| Vocal singing (no instruments) | Three Weeks | Permitted | Permitted | Tunes in prayer/learning; also on Shabbat during Three Weeks; no need to be strict even on Shabbat Chazon: Chazon Ovadia p. 154. |
| Professional musician (earning by playing) | Through end of Tammuz | May play at non-Jewish events | May play at non-Jewish events | From Rosh Chodesh Av onward should not play: Biur Halacha 551:2. |
| Haircuts (men) | 17 Tammuz → after Tisha B’Av | No haircuts | Refrain only in the week that Tisha B’Av falls | Ashkenaz stringency per Rema 551:4. |
| Sefardi in Ashkenazi community (haircuts) | 17 Tammuz → after Tisha B’Av | — | Should be strict like Ashkenazim | “Should be strict like them and not cut hair from 17 Tammuz.” |
| Trimming beard (leniencies mentioned) | As stated in text | Some leniencies mentioned for need | Some leniencies mentioned for need | Some are lenient regarding trimming a beard until Rosh Chodesh Av when there is a need. |
| Sea and pool swimming | Three Weeks | Permitted | Permitted | Even if you hadn’t gone before the Three Weeks. |
| Joyful events (trips/parties, etc.) | From Rosh Chodesh Av | Avoid joyous events | Avoid joyous events | Communal/educational events permitted; health-related rest allowed. |
| Court case with a non-Jew | Av | Postpone | Postpone | Jewish mazal is weak then: SA 551:1. |
| Meat & wine (start) | All Nine Days + Rosh Chodesh Av (Ashkenazim) | No meat or wine for all Nine Days incl. Rosh Chodesh Av | Permitted on Rosh Chodesh; prohibition begins night of 2nd of Av | MB 551:58. |
| Yemenites (meat & wine) | From the text’s guidance | — | Do not follow stringency; only refrain at seudah mafseket before fast | Fish is permitted (per text). |
| What counts as “meat” | Nine Days (during prohibition) | Includes beef & chicken, fresh or frozen | Includes beef & chicken, fresh or frozen | Fish permitted. |
| Food cooked with meat | Nine Days (during prohibition) | Forbidden | Forbidden | Taste of meat is present: MB 551:63. |
| Wine scope | Nine Days (during prohibition) | Includes grape juice | Includes grape juice | Hard liquor (whiskey/beer) permitted. |
| Seasoning with wine vinegar | Nine Days | Permitted | Permitted | Baked goods already containing wine may be eaten; avoid adding wine to dough lechatchila. |
| Illness / medical need | Nine Days | May eat if needed | May eat if needed | Even slightly sick (MB 551:61). |
| Within 30 days postpartum / nursing mother | Nine Days | May eat if needed | May eat if needed | Nursing mother needs it for milk production (per text). |
| Children | Nine Days | Permitted to give meat to small children (even chinuch age) | Permitted to give meat to small children (even chinuch age) | Once 12 years and one day: strict not to feed meat. |
| Seudat mitzvah after Rosh Chodesh Av | After Rosh Chodesh Av | Host’s relatives may eat meat | Host’s relatives may eat meat | Those who come just to eat meat may not. |
| Meat at a Siyum Masechet | Nine Days | Permitted (seudat mitzvah) | Permitted (seudat mitzvah) | Don’t make a siyum just to eat meat. |
| Motza’ei Shabbat Chazon: Havdalah wine | Motza’ei Shabbat Chazon | Havdalah maker may drink entire cup | Havdalah maker may drink entire cup | Prefer grape juice for less joy. |
| Tasting Shabbat foods while cooking Erev Shabbat | Erev Shabbat | Permitted | Permitted | Chazon Ovadia p. 178. |
| Leftover Shabbat meat after Shabbat | After Shabbat | Has basis to rely | Has basis to rely | Especially if usually eats meat at Seudah Revi’it. |
| Sewing new clothes / new shoes | From Rosh Chodesh Av period (as given) | Forbidden | Forbidden | Tailor earning living may be permitted until week of Tisha B’Av. Women may not do embroidery/knitting. |
| Patching / buttons | These days | Permitted | Permitted | Patching a torn old garment; sewing on buttons that fell off (ibid. 207). |
| Buying a home & signing contract | These days (as stated) | Permitted even on Tisha B’Av | Permitted even on Tisha B’Av | Moving homes permitted too. |
| Painting home with decorative designs | From Rosh Chodesh Av | Avoid decorative designs | Avoid decorative designs | Allowed: paint a synagogue, Talmud Torah, etc. |
| Buying furniture | From Rosh Chodesh Av | Avoid buying / avoid ordering arriving after Tisha B’Av | Avoid buying / avoid ordering arriving after Tisha B’Av | Unless prices will rise and cause loss. |
| Books & business dealings | From Rosh Chodesh Av | Avoid buying sefarim unless needed now or could become unavailable/more expensive | Avoid buying sefarim unless needed now or could become unavailable/more expensive | Proper to reduce business/financial transactions if possible. |
| Buying clothes & shoes | From Rosh Chodesh Av | Do not buy (even if not worn until after Tisha B’Av or intended as a gift) | Do not buy (even if not worn until after Tisha B’Av or intended as a gift) | Also don’t give clothing as a gift these days. |
| Minor clothing (stockings) | These days | Permitted | Permitted | Example: women’s stockings. |
| Sewing a new garment/shoe (general) | From Rosh Chodesh Av period | Forbidden | Forbidden | If tailor began before Rosh Chodesh, he may continue after Rosh Chodesh. |
| Embroidery & knitting (clothes/tablecloths) | These days | Forbidden | Forbidden | Teaching sewing permitted if it doesn’t produce a new garment. |
| Repairing torn clothes/shoes | These days | Permitted | Permitted | If will become more expensive, may buy. If shoes tore and no other pair, may buy new ones. |
| Combing hair | Week of Tisha B’Av | Permitted | Permitted | Men and women: Yechave Daat 4:35. |
| Cutting nails | Week of Tisha B’Av | Main halacha: permitted | Main halacha: permitted | Some forbid; even a strict person may cut if nails are overgrown past the flesh. |
| Laundry | Week of Tisha B’Av | Rabbinically forbidden | Rabbinically forbidden | Applies even with washing machine; don’t wear freshly laundered clothes. |
| Changing into laundered undershirt | Week of Tisha B’Av | Not allowed | Not allowed | Prepare in advance: wear each laundered garment ~1 hour before the week, then rotate. |
| How to “prepare” from before | Before week of Tisha B’Av | Wear laundered garments for ~1 hour each; rotate | Wear laundered garments for ~1 hour each; rotate | Applies to underwear and socks; Shabbat prep method described in text. |
| Bed linens freshly laundered | Week of Tisha B’Av | Forbidden | Forbidden | Including hand towels, tissues, tablecloths: Yalkut Yosef p. 664. |
| Polishing shoes | Week of Tisha B’Av | Permitted | Permitted | Not comparable to laundry. Even those strict may be lenient in the 30 days of mourning. |
| Bathing: hot water | From Rosh Chodesh Av → after fast | No hot water (strict from Rosh Chodesh Av until after fast); shower in cold water in need | Hot water allowed from Rosh Chodesh until week of Tisha B’Av | During week of Tisha B’Av: custom refrain from hot water; cold water permitted. |
| Bathing for medical need | Week of Tisha B’Av | Permitted | Permitted | Pregnant woman in her month, etc.: Yalkut Yosef p. 666. |
| Swimming | Week of Tisha B’Av | Basic halacha permits; proper to avoid due to danger | Sefardic custom permits in the sea, but avoid due to danger | “Nevertheless, because of danger, it is proper to avoid it.” |
| Washing floors / mopping | From Rosh Chodesh Av onward | Lenient custom (as stated) | Lenient custom (as stated) | Some places avoid; “Our custom is to be lenient… even during weekday of week of Tisha B’Av.” |
| Ironing | Week of Tisha B’Av | Permitted with hot iron | Permitted | Chazon Ovadia p. 238; Ohr LeTzion is strict. |