Pesach Kasher Ve’Sameach to everyone.
Without a doubt, the most interesting part of the Haggadah, at least for me, is the four sons. It looks like there are four different sons in the Haggadah, each has their own personality. One is wise, one is wicked, one is simple, and one doesn’t know how to ask. After we mention these sons, we learn the differences between these individuals.
We learn that the wise son includes himself in the story of Egypt and it’s obligations, and the only reason he says “these laws to you” is because he is still under the age of Mitzvot. The wicked son, on the other hand, asks his question only to provoke, and does not consider himself part of the Mitzvot or mentions HaShem at all. The difference between the simple son and the son that does not know how to ask is that the simple son is not wise, but also not entirely ignorant, as opposed to the son who doesn’t know how to ask.
Some of us even ask ourselves, “Which of these am I?” Most of us wouldn’t consider themselves wicked, as the Gemara says that no one can call themselves wicked. Second, nobody wants to see themselves as the nasty picture of the wicked son. But, the Sfat Emet and many others explain that those four sons are not four individuals, but they are four traits that each and every person has.
Some explain that each of these sons represents a different stage of life. When we are very young, we don’t know how to ask. We get a little older, and we are able to ask in a very short way. Then we get to the age when we rebel against our parents. After, we get married and have children and start develop our wisdom while seeing our children start from the first stage themselves. Some parents are very disappointed with the behavior of their children , but they need to know that most of the time it’s not their fault, but they got to the age that they feel they know everything and they act accordingly.
There was a famous Rabbi called Rabbi Uri Zohar that at the age of forty he became Baal Teshuvah, and after a few years, his son went off the Derech. He was really upset with this, because he felt that he had found the light and he wanted to share it with his children. Later on after his son had also became Baal Teshuvah, he revealed on camera that it was a big mistake to fight his son on this, and that we have to let our children to embark on their own journey and make their own mistakes, only guiding them, so that they should find the light themselves.
Others explain that the four sons represent ourselves on a daily basis. Sometimes we act knowledgeably, other times we can act wicked, and sometimes we could even have nothing to say. But, even if we follow the simple understanding of the Haggadah that it’s referring to four different individuals, since the Haggadah is referring to them as children, we can never refer to them as a wicked. Rather, we are telling him that his question is wrong and belongs to a wicked person, and it is not fitting for him. This way we guide him to be better.
Every year we mention the famous idea that there is an additional fifth son, who isn’t even aware of the Seder and is not found there. The rabbis encourage us to go out and find them to bring them close.
Unfortunately, this year, we also have the sixth son who wants to come to the Seder, but is captured in Gaza. Let’s all love our children no matter what questions they ask each one is unique and special, as we mention in the beginning of the four sons, “One wise, one wicked, one simple, and one that does not know how to ask.” We say each time “one” for every son to show how we need to treat each and every son with the same attention and care.
This Pesach, we should go out and search for the fifth son so that he should return to his roots, and we should pray for the sixth one that they should return to their home, their family, and their nation, as soon as possible, Amen.
Rabbi Eliyahu Tal