Chag Sameach
There was once a rabbi who encountered a drunk person on the street. The Rabbi asked the drunk man for directions to the post office. Surprisingly, despite his intoxication, the drunk person was able to provide accurate directions. Grateful for his help, the rabbi suggested that the drunk person should consider giving up drinking and instead join him at the synagogue where he could experience the beauty and enlightenment of the Torah that leads to heaven. In response, the drunk person humorously remarked that if the rabbi couldn't even find the post office, how could he possibly guide him to heaven?
Every morning for the past 39 days, we have been starting Selichot by reciting the verse "נחפשה דרכינו ונחקורה ונשובה עד ה׳" which translates to "We will search our ways and investigate and return to Hashem". But this pasuk doesn't just tell us to search our ways, like the rabbi looking for the post office, but also to investigate.
Whydo we need to investigate after searching our ways and getting to our destination? Chazal teaches that this pasuk is a two step process. The first step is to understand that Yom HaKippurim is the holiest day of the year. Although every day we have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness from Hashem by reciting confession, on Yom Kippur we have to think a bit more about the entire year and investigate our ways. That's why the pasuk says first we have to search and make sure we are doing the right thing.
The second step is doing the right thing in this particular case. There are some people who think they have been doing good things for years but then they found out it was good for one person, but bad for another. In other words, to investigate means not just feeling that you are doing good, but knowing that it is the right thing to do at that moment.
On a deeper level I saw a fascinating perush on this pasuk in the book Sfat Emet. The book explains that searching our ways refers our relationships between us and our fellow friends. To investigate means helping ourselves understand our friends by having in mind that there are some qualities that my friends have that I don't and vice versa. Only if we appreciate each other, and think highly of each other, can we live in peace and forgive each other.
The Sfat Emet gives an example with a person who learns all day and one who does business all day. They are both needed. Torah, of course is very important, and business is important because the businessman can do a lot of chesed with his money. Together, they will protect each other and fulfill all of the miztvot. If one person did a mitzvah, it is as if the other did it too. This is the only way we live in peace and harmony and fulfill all of the miztvot. On Yom Kippur we come to Hashem with the mitzvot of the entire tzibur, so we are not destitute of mitzvot. And that is the meaning of searching and investigate our ways.
On behalf of the Kahal HaKadosh, may we all be blessed this year with a year of peace and harmony and a year where we look at the positive side of our fellow friends. May this coming year bring you and your family peace and prosperity, good health, long life, and happiness.
Rabbi Eliyahu Tal